SMARTE Goals

The mind is a ‘goal-seeking mechanism’. Whatever you desire, with sincere intention, will be delivered to you. Unfortunately, most people use this energetic power to their detriment, focusing on what they don’t want rather than what they do want.

An example of a positive goal is: On the 30 th June 20XX, I am at 18% body fat and I am a size 12; as opposed to I need to lose 12 kg of body fat/ weight by 30 th June 20XX.

If you link a goal to your purpose, there is a far greater chance of success. A goal without purpose is like a spur of the moment, ‘New Years Resolution’ with little chance of success.

Your goals must be SMARTE:

Specific

The goal needs to have clarity and be specific. Describe exactly what you will see, feel, hear, (and to a lesser degree) taste or smell when you have it. Unless you ask
specifically for what you want, you are unlikely to get it. Use specific numbers if possible. What will this outcome get for you or allow you to do?
Note: In most cases, it is better to set a body fat percentage goal rather than aim for a particular weight. If you’re obese, then weight goals are best, but if you have less
weight to lose, continual focus on your weight will mess with your head, distract you from the real issues and is more of a hindrance than a help. How your clothes fit or
your body fat percentage is a far better indicator of progress.

Meaningful

The goal needs to create a strong, heart-felt desire for you to accomplish. Write downwhat inspires you about this goal and make a list of your personal reasons for needing
to accomplish this goal. This should be in line with your purpose and be for you!

As if Now

Your goal should be written in Present Tense but with a date in the future, e.g. ‘It is now 30 June 20XX and I am at 18% body fat and am a size 12’.

Realistic

The goal needs to be realistic. Your goals should be challenging but achievable. Nothing breeds success like success. It is disempowering to strive for goals that cannot be
reached. For example, your weight as a 17 year old may not be attainable. Set a target. Maybe the target needs to be an interim target to enable you to reach a shorter-term
goal and then re-assess to continue further or not. This enables you to focus more easily now on what needs to be done in order to reach the larger goal. The best
strategy for successful lifestyle change is to set these small, achievable goals that fit your lifestyle.

Tangible

The goal needs to be tangible and therefore measureable. You need to be able to explain it or see it. Write down how you will measure your progress. Set a target of a
clothing size, specific weight, body fat percentage, etc. It is advantageous to also set non-weight loss goals that will help in your weight loss endeavours, e.g. to run a fun
run.

End Step

Describe the final thing (scene) that has to happen for you to know you have accomplished the goal. Step outside of the goal and see the final scene. Describe
exactly what you will see, feel, hear, (and to a lesser degree) taste or smell when you have it.

Control the Controllable

So you want to lose weight?

There are many things that you can change in your life to support you in your quest to lose weight and get the body you want. There are other things that you may dwell on that will not help you in your weight loss efforts. So don’t bother spending time and effort, and stressing over stuff that you can’t control.

What you can’t change:

Your chronological age 

There is no point stressing about how old you are. You were born when you were born – there is no changing that.

Your sex 

Well, maybe it is possible, but for most, it’s not on the table of options!

Men and women are meant to be different, and have different physiologies and structure. As with age, you need to work with who you are and be happy in that.

Your genetics 

We have different body types and metabolic rates. You are not going to change your DNA so work with what you have.

Your history 

Success or failures of the past are just that, the past. Move on!

Einstein once defined insanity as, ‘Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results”.

What are you going to do differently to make you successful now? It is crucial that you do things differently than you have done in the past if you want to get a different result.

What you can change:

Your biological age (how “old” your body is)  

By having a healthier lifestyle, you can change your biological age, which in turn will improve the quality of your life – and potentially increase the length of your life. It may be more difficult to create change as a 50+ year old, but you are still very adaptable. It comes down to what we do at our age rather than what our age is.

Your typical behaviours 

You are in control of your day-to-day habits! It is your choice whether you exercise in the morning or stay in bed an extra half an hour; eat chocolate as a snack or a piece of fruit; smoke cigarettes or not.

Your diet

It is your choice what you eat. The key is to become aware of your psychology, habits and other factors that cause you to make the choices that you currently make. Building your own effective meal pattern that works within your lifestyle commitments is the best approach. Having flexibility for detours from your regular healthy pattern will provide the best recipe for success.

Your lifestyle

The amount of sleep you have; your level of stress; your alcohol consumption; smoking cigarettes; taking drugs; how you relax; your work/ life balance are all areas of your lifestyle that you can change if you want.

Your exercise habits

Your body is meant to move every day and ideally in a variety of different ways. Do some form of exercise or activity every day and endeavour to vary it as much as possible.

Your attitude

The state of your physiology is a by-product of your psychology. By becoming aware of the underlying factors that cause you to act or respond in a particular way, you can begin to dismantle those things that sabotage your efforts to accomplish your goals. A Food Diary can help, together with a general awareness.

Don’t try to undo years (or decades) of abuse by next week. The more drastic and numerous the changes, the less likely you are to maintain any of them. You need to take one step at a time.

With commitment comes resourcefulness. By truly committing to the task at hand, you will find resources to assist will come to you. 

So step back, get some perspective and take an unemotional, honest look at your diet, your exercise habits, your mindset, your lifestyle, and any other relevant factors. Identify what and how you can and need to change and take the first step.

You Can’t Change a Problem with the Same Thought Process That Created the Problem

Are you frustrated at losing weight only to put the weight back on? Are you struggling to budge that last 5 – 7 kilograms to fit into your favourite outfit?

Chances are, you are going about it the wrong way, either having unrealistic expectations or losing weight in such a way that makes it difficult to maintain your weight loss.

The vast majority of people who lose weight regain it, and most people who get fit, get unfit.

Holding on to what you’ve achieved ALL comes from your mindset. If, in the past, you have not maintained the results that you have achieved, you need to discover why you have self-sabotaged – and only you know that. Referring back to your food diary, or observing eating triggers, may help you to identify the reasons. Whatever the case, continuing to do what has not worked in the past is ‘insane’!

The divide in today’s society between health and wellbeing, and a lack of the same continues to grow. Whilst the majority of people continue to gain weight and/ or lead lives of less than optimum health and wellbeing, there are a minority who are actually improving their health, wellbeing and quality of life with the choices that they make.

It’s worth the effort because you are worth it! You deserve to have the body and the quality of life that you desire.

So, go ahead. Make the changes that you need to make TODAY and create your best life now.

Getting Ready

While the theory of weight loss is simple (energy in versus energy out), the practical reality of transforming your body and creating lasting change is significantly more complex and challenging.  What’s happening on the outside is largely a reflection of your state of mind.

Creating change

The four steps needed to bring about a change are:

Awareness → Focus → Support → Action

Awareness

Become aware of what it is you need to change. We are boxed in by the boundaries (conditions) of our thinking, e.g. our environment, conditions, patterns and programming. It may be that you need to change your eating, exercise, stressors or social habits (or all of the aforementioned). It may take considerable thought and reflection to establish what you need to change.

Focus

Change the way you do things by changing your neural pathway (habit) immediately. You need to be committed to the process of change. It’s not enough to consciously decide to make a change. Change happens at the sub-conscious level immediately. Everything prior to the change is just a lead up or a set-up. What is it you need to change and what habit will you replace it with? Create a compelling pathway – what will it feel/ sound/ look like? Pave your imagination with as much detail as possible. If you have been able to develop poor eating habits, then you are equally able to develop healthy ones.

Support

Form a circle of support around you. Ideal people to provide this support include family, friends, co-workers and/ or a coach. They are generally people that want to help but sometimes may not know how.

Action

We create via our actions or not. When you make the decision to change something, it is important to establish clearly defined, manageable steps that will lead you to accomplish your goal. Learn to love doing what is necessary to accomplish your goals, e.g. eating well, food preparation, cooking and exercising.

You cannot achieve change without taking action! You need to decide if you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goal or whether it is just wishful thinking. If you are not ready to make the necessary changes, it is better to admit to yourself that now is not the right time, and wait until the time is right. Trying to do something that you are not totally committed to will just lead to failure. This will adversely affect your belief system, making it harder in the future when you do decide you’re ready.

All problems and solutions are created in your imagination. You can’t change a problem with the same thought process that created the problem.

Commitment to change

Change can be difficult, but by establishing a definite reason (purpose) and creating a strong support base, together with education, you can become a person who exercises regularly, eats well and loses weight successfully.

There are some things you can’t change and other things that you can. The key is to focus on what you can and need to change and forget the rest.  Invest your physical and emotional energy where you will get the best return for your effort. When you have identified what you can change, create action and finish what you start. Many people spend their lives not finishing stuff. If that’s you, this is the first thing to change. Do it now!

What’s Realistic? – A Guide to Effective Weight Loss

Many people start out on a journey to lose weight with unrealistic expectations that not only can’t be reached in a healthful way, but also, can’t be maintained. That is, by far the majority of people that lose weight rapidly, put the weight (and often more) back on. You may have taken a decade or two to put on 10 or 20 or 30 kg, you should not expect to lose it in an unrealistic short timeframe.

For most people, a loss of 500 grams per week is realistic. This may be a little more if you have more weight to lose, and less when you approach your ideal weight. Your body has a natural ‘set point’ and will naturally try to maintain what it thinks is your natural weight. This ‘set point’ needs to be naturally adjusted gradually. Also, when you lose weight too quickly, especially when you do it with diet alone, you will lose muscle mass which affects your metabolism. This in turn makes it increasingly difficult to lose weight but also causes you to put weight (with a bit extra) back on. This cycle of dieting decreasing metabolism dieting etc. is very difficult to turn around.

How Much Do You Really Need to Eat?

If you eat exactly the number of calories your body needs for your basal metabolism and physical activity, your weight will remain stable. Weight gain will occur when you consume more calories than your body burns. These extra calories are converted into fat and stored within your body. Approximately 50% of fat is stored under the skin. Conversely, if you use more energy than you take in, you will lose weight. To lose, 1 kilogram of weight, you need to expend 7700 calories more than you consume.

Calculate your daily requirements

Firstly, calculate what your daily requirements are and then manage your eating intake (e.g. food choices, portion sizes and frequency of meals) accordingly. If the energy consumed is not used, the balance will be stored as fat.

You can assess how many calories your body requires by calculating your Basal Metabolic Rate (BMR). Your BMR is the amount of energy (calories) that your body needs to function and maintain itself. You can then use this information to calculate how many calories you need to consume to lose weight or maintain a particular weight. For fat loss, the aim is to expend more calories than you consume. To achieve a weight loss of ½ kg per week the deficit needs to be 550 calories per day. The aim should generally be a deficit of 500–1000 calories per day. This can be more if you weigh more than 130 kg. Minimum calorie intake should be 1200 for women and 1600 for men. This however, will be dependent upon your size.

Note: Calorie restriction (without exercise) may lead to greater fat storage. During moderate caloric restriction, exercise helps maintains your BMR.

You can use the formula below to calculate your BMR.

BMR = {[9.99 x weight (kg)] + [6.25 x height (cm)] – [4.92 x age (years)] + S} x activity factor

where S is +5 for males and –161 for females.

Activity Factor

1.2 Sedentary (little or no exercise, desk job)
1.375 Lightly active (light exercise/sports one to three days/week)
1.55 Moderately active (moderate exercise/sports three to five days/week)
1.725 Very active (hard exercise/sports six to seven days/week)
1.9 Extremely active (hard daily exercise/sports, or two times/day training)

The ideal macronutrient breakdown

Providing you restrict your calorie intake to the amount calculated, you will lose weight. This will not, however, allow your body to necessarily perform optimally. Your body requires certain amounts of protein, carbohydrates and fats and the balance of these is very important. Our bodies convert food into energy and nutrients from these macronutrients in order to perform our daily functions. Focus on nutrition for optimal performance and weight loss will happen.

Even racehorses are fed quality food in precise portions to get the best from the horse. Shouldn’t you treat yourself just as well?

In summary, the macronutrient requirements for optimal weight loss and health are:

  • Protein – 1.05 g per kilogram of body weight
  • Fat – 20 - 30% of your overall calorie intake (Use 25% for your calculation)
  • Carbohydrates – The remainder of your calorie intake will come from carbohydrates. This will generally be (but is determined by your overall weight) 50–60% of total calories.

Exercise is the foremost predictor of weight loss success (including maintenance), i.e. people who commit to exercise are the ones who are the most successful. With this commitment often comes an increased discipline in food choices and other factors that affect weight loss. It is imperative that you plan regular physical activity that can be maintained. The common barriers that people have are lack of time, lack of facilities, lack of money or lack of workout partners. Do whatever you need to do to include exercise in your daily life.

Diets Work and Diets Don’t Work

If you have failed in the past with your weight loss efforts, whether from not losing the desired amount of weight or not maintaining your desired weight, it is often because the plan you had was not effective in the long-term, or your reason for losing weight was not strong enough. With a strong reason and a workable plan, you can gain success and most importantly, maintain the results.

Diets Work. Because of the caloric restriction of diets, your body will be made to use body fat stores for fuel (energy). The benefits of dieting are more evident in the early stages of weight loss. They are, however, difficult to maintain.

Diets don’t work. Dieting has no way to deal with metabolism, which has slowed in response to the diet. Whenever you start to burn stored energy, your body protects itself by becoming more efficient. This survival technique lowers metabolism when you are dieting. This is why your weight loss slows and eventually you hit a plateau. This can then lead to a state of continual dieting, which in turn leads to an even lower metabolism. That is why habitual dieters often increasingly fluctuate in body fat, the more they diet.

With an overall plan that maintains your metabolism, you will be free of the never-ending cycle of dieting.

Nutrition

It’s not only about the quantity of food that you eat, but also the quality of food. You literally are what you eat and every food either helps or hinders you. Once you realise this, you will start to become very careful about what you put into your body. Comparably, if you put inferior products (e.g. petrol and oil) into your car, your car will not perform as efficiently as if you use higher quality products.

It is commonplace for people to consume a large proportion of their calorie intake from what they drink. This is often in the form of high-sugar drinks such as soft drinks which provide no nutritional value and can also lead to increased fatness and diabetes. Another issue is that ‘drinking calories’ does not as effectively lead to the feeling of satiety (i.e. the feeling of having had enough to eat) compared to whole foods.

Exercise

Studies have shown that exercise not only helps to create a calorie deficit and therefore lose weight, but also enhances long term maintenance of weight loss. This will not only keep the weight off, you will have more energy to do the things that you love.

Aerobic training for fat loss

Aerobic exercise (also referred to as cardio-vascular exercise) is important in controlling your level of body fat and will help you increase the strength of your heart and lungs. It is recommended that you perform 270 minutes of aerobic activity per week for optimal weight loss. This can be less if you are performing interval-type training, but the intensity needs to be much higher. Any amount, however, is better than none at all. For body fat loss, consider what your calorie deficit requirement is and use a combination of your eating and aerobic exercise plan to accomplish this level.

Weight training for fat loss

Weight training, which is also referred to as resistance training, will help you maintain and/ or increase your body muscle mass, which in turn increases metabolism, therefore increasing the rate at which you can lose body fat. Your metabolism is the key to long-term weight maintenance and weight training is the best way to increase or at least maintain your metabolism. It is not necessary to do a lot of weight training. In fact, 2 sessions per week of 20 minutes each is enough to maintain your metabolism through the maintenance of your muscle mass, providing you work hard!

Adults who replace muscle tissue through sensible weight training use more calories all day long, thereby reducing the likelihood of fat accumulation. Increasing your muscle mass by just 1.5 kg will burn an additional 1 kg of fat every year simply by the increased metabolic effect of the muscle. And that’s at rest! The amount of fat burned will be even more with exercise.

Excuses

Even with increased efficiency in many aspects of our lives, we still use the excuse that we do not have enough time. Considering the amount of time we spend watching TV, on Facebook or playing computer games, it is more likely that we have developed poor time management, and fail to prioritise food preparation and exercise in our lives. I rarely meet anyone who can’t free up some time, often a substantial amount. It is all about priorities and making the best use of the time that you have.

Having a sensible and balanced plan will help you to reach and maintain your target weight, as well as allowing you to have a healthier life. Your success is a matter of a few simple disciplines, practised each day. You always have a choice. The key is to make the right choices most of the time.

Change

While it may be scary to make changes, you will find strength and growth in the process. Tell yourself that things will never be the same. That YOU will never be the same. That this is an opportunity to realise new levels of opportunity and growth.

The four steps needed to bring about a change are:

Awareness of the need to change → Commitment to the process → Action

“If you don’t change direction, you may end up where you are heading.” ~ Lao Tzu

Awareness

If you’re not happy with where you are, only one person can change it. It does take time and effort, however.

Become aware of what it is you need or want to change. We are often boxed in by the boundaries (conditions) of our thinking, e.g. our environment, conditions, patterns and programming. It may be that you need to change your beliefs, habits, stressors, diet or exercise. It may take considerable thought and reflection to establish what you need to change.

Some Questions

Below are some questions designed to promote thought to ‘bring out’ what changes you really want in your life. So step back, get some perspective and take an unemotional, honest look at your mindset, lifestyle, finances, relationships, career, diet, exercise habits, and any other aspects of your life. Identify what and how you need to change.

  1. What’s missing in my life? For example, time, holidays, money, health, family.
  2. What’s in my control?
  3. What’s not working in my life right now?
  4. What’s the best use of my time?
  5. What’s the best use of my energy, skill and potential?
  6. What do I have to be thankful for?
  7. What can I learn from my current situation?
  8. How am I contributing to this problem?
  9. What do I need to let go of?
  10. What does success look like for me?
  11. What are my core values?
  12. Is my life a reflection of those values?
  13. What’s important to me?

Once you have established changes that you need to make, ask each of the questions below for each of your desired changes.

  1. Do I really want to be, do or have this?
  2. Will being, doing or having this move me toward my ideal life?
  3. Will being, doing or having this keep me in harmony with universal law?
  4. Will being, doing or having this violate the rights of others?

If you answered ‘Yes’, ‘Yes’, ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ to these questions, then you’re ready to make the change.

If you are not 100% certain of what you want to change, it is due to either:

  • You don’t know what you want
  • You don’t know how to get it
  • Something is stopping you

If you don’t know what you want, spend more time ‘sitting’ with the above questions. If you are not sure how to get what you want, gain advice from someone with expertise in that particular area. If there is some factor stopping you, spend time gaining clarity around that sabotage factor. A coach may be of help in this is the case.

What can you change?

Before you continue, it is important that you come to the realisation that there are some things that you can’t change.

Using your body as an example, your genes play a large role in determining how much you weigh. Your genetic code contains the blueprint for our body type. Your environment only plays a role in obesity in that it enables those obesogenic genes to be expressed.

Take, for example, a study from Denmark, in which the researchers compared the weight of more than 500 adopted children with that of their biological parents and that of their adoptive parents. If learned eating habits influence a child’s body weight more than genes do, his or her body weight should be similar to his or her adoptive parents. Conversely, if genes influence a child’s body weight more than environment does, his or her body weight should be similar to that of the biological parents. What did the researchers find? Interestingly, the children’s body weight was highly correlated with the weight of their biological parents but not with the weight of their adoptive parents, even though their biological parents were not raising them.

Another study in which identical twins were studied, researchers compared the body weight of 93 pairs of identical twins who were raised apart in separate homes and 154 pairs of identical twins raised together in the same home. The results of the study showed that the body weights of the identical twins were highly correlated whether the twins were raised together or apart. The results of this and other twin studies have shown that genes account for 70 percent of the variation in people’s body weight. That’s a pretty large influence.

So what can’t you change?

Your chronological age – There is no point stressing about how old you are. You were born when you were born – there is no changing that.

Your sex – Men and women are meant to be different, and have different physiologies and structure. As with age, you need to work with who you are and be happy in that.

Your genetics – We have different body types and metabolic rates. Work with what you have.

Your history – Success or failures of the past are just that, the past. Move on! What are you going to do differently to make you successful now? It is crucial that you do things differently than you have done in the past if you want to get a different result.

So, what do we do? We focus on the 30 percent that we can control.

What to change

Control what you can control. You do have a great deal of control over your body, even if your genetics are pre-disposed to being a particular way.

What you can change:

Your biological age (how “old” your body is) – By having a healthier lifestyle, you can change your biological age, which in turn will improve the quality of your life – and potentially increase the length of your life. It may be more difficult to create change as a 50+ year old, but you are still very adaptable. It comes down to what we do at our age rather than what our age is.

Your typical behaviours – You are in control of your day-to-day habits! It is your choice whether you exercise in the morning or stay in bed an extra half an hour; eat chocolate as a snack or a piece of fruit; smoke cigarettes or not.

Your diet – It is your choice what you eat. The key is to become aware of your psychology, habits and other factors that cause you to make the choices that you currently make. Building your own effective meal pattern that works within your lifestyle commitments is the best approach. Having flexibility for detours from your regular healthy pattern will provide the best recipe for success.

Your lifestyle – The amount of sleep you have; your level of stress; your alcohol consumption; smoking cigarettes; taking drugs; how you relax; your work/ life balance are all areas of your lifestyle that you can change if you want.

Your exercise habits – Your body is meant to move every day and ideally in a variety of different ways. Do some form of exercise or activity every day and endeavour to vary it as much as possible.

Your attitude – The state of your physiology is a by-product of your psychology. By becoming aware of the underlying factors that cause you to act or respond in a particular way, you can begin to dismantle those things that sabotage your efforts to accomplish your goals. A Food Diary can help, together with a general awareness.

Don’t try to undo years (or decades) of abuse by next week. The more drastic and numerous the changes, the less likely you are to maintain any of them. You need to take one step at a time.

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other one thing.” ~ Abraham Lincoln

Commitment to change

Change can be difficult, but by establishing a definite reason (purpose) and creating a strong support base, together with the education required, you can become the person you want to be and lead your ideal life.

Any decision you make is simply a promise to yourself that isn’t worth anything until you have totally committed to keeping it. And unless you have a definite purpose with which to link the new promise, your chances of success are minimal.

With commitment comes resourcefulness. By truly committing to the task at hand, you will find resources to assist will come to you.

Change the way you do things by changing your neural pathway (habit) immediately. You need to be committed to the process of change. It’s not enough to consciously decide to make a change. Change happens at the sub-conscious level immediately. Everything prior to the change is just a lead up or a set-up. What is it you need to change and what habit will you replace it with? Create a compelling pathway – what will it feel/ sound/ look like? Pave your imagination with as much detail as possible. If you have been able to develop poor eating habits, then you are equally able to develop healthy ones.

There are many decisions we make in our lives that we can look back on as significant, even though we may not have realised it at the time. Life-changing moments can occur without the great fanfare we might expect.  In fact, the decisions you are making right now are shaping your destiny.

When in doubt, just take the next small step.

Most people, however, do not take total responsibility for their outcomes; in fact, it is generally about 2% of people who do. They are the ones who create the life they desire without any blame, excuses or denial.

The other 98% are the ones who always seem to have someone or something to blame, or have an excuse as to why they can’t do it now or are in denial about their current situation. It seems they are stuck in a ‘victim’ mentality.

Once you have made the commitment, it is then about consistent and persistent action until you reach your goal and beyond.

Note that there will be challenges along the way. But challenges in life don’t arise haphazardly, no matter how accidental or coincidental they may seem. They only arrive when you’re ready for them. Not when you’re ready to be squashed, but when you’re ready to grow, overcome, and be more than who you were before they arrived.

”Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favour all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.”  ~ W. H. Murray

Fear

“Remember your dreams and fight for them. You must know what you want from life. There is just one thing that makes your dream become impossible: the fear of failure.” ~ Paulo Coelho

Changing stuff is not as hard as you think. It’s fear that stops you. Challenge your thinking regularly. Do you have the courage to get out of your comfort zone (and stay out)?

How would you live your life if you had no fear?

Most of our fears are from beliefs created before the age of 7 years of age. If your efforts are being sabotaged by these beliefs, it’s time to change your beliefs.

Most problems and solutions are created in your imagination. You can’t change a problem with the same thought process that created the problem.

Action

We create via our actions or not. If you want to be a fat, lazy person, do what fat, lazy people do. If you don’t…don’t.

When you make the decision to change something, it is important to establish clearly defined, manageable steps that will lead you to accomplish your goal. Learn to love doing what is necessary to accomplish your goals.

You cannot achieve change without taking action! You need to decide if you are willing to do whatever it takes to accomplish your goal or whether it is just wishful thinking. If you are not ready to make the necessary changes, it is better to admit to yourself that now is not the right time, and wait until the time is right. Trying to do something that you are not totally committed to will just lead to failure. This will adversely affect your belief system, making it harder in the future when you do decide you’re ready.

Form a circle of support around you. Ideal people to provide this support include family, friends, co-workers and/ or a coach. They are generally people that want to help but sometimes may not know how.

As young children, we made mistakes & moved on. Then we started formal education where we learned not to make mistakes (to step back into your comfort zone whenever things get difficult instead of learning like a young child).

The Australian military has found that when fired upon, more success was gained moving toward the danger or taking cover in place rather than to move away.

So take pro-active positive action and move forward.

“If one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavours to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Poem

When you feel discouraged or feel like giving up, perhaps this poem by William Ernest Henley will help.

Out of the night that covers me,

Black as the pit from pole to pole,

I thank whatever gods may be

For my unconquerable soul.

 

In the fell clutch of circumstance

I have not winced nor cried aloud.

Under the bludgeonings of chance

My head is bloody, but unbowed.

 

Beyond this place of wrath and tears

Looms but the Horror of the shade,

And yet the menace of the years

Finds and shall find me unafraid.

 

It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul.